The Right Word

by Nancy Sackheim

The precise word or phrase may not be the right one to engage your reader.  If the precise word throws your reader out of the story, then a less-precise word might actually be a better choice.

Let's look at dialogue. William Brohaugh writes in English Through the Ages "One lesson here is to let word choice in the narrative conform at a certain level to the word choice of the people populating the narrative.  For instance, formal narration lacking contraction wouldn't serve a story about rural folk, nor would colloquial narration serve a story about high society – even if the characters themselves spoke completely in context."

Descriptive words are particularly challenging.  Select an adjective you've chosen to use in your story and look up possible synonyms.  Often there are dozens to choose from.  All mean roughly the same thing, but synonymous does not necessarily mean interchangeable.  And more often than you might imagine, the best word may not appear in a synonym list.  In Redhead by the Side of the Road, Ann Tyler describes a character's shabby leather jacket as a "partially-erased-looking brown leather jacket."  Can't you just see that scuffed piece of leather the character is wearing?  Would the reader see the jacket as clearly or remain as engaged in the story if she'd written, "He wore a shabby brown leather jacket."?

 Would the reader have grasped the depth of Humbert Humbert's obsession if the first sentence of  Lolita had been, "Lolita is a very attractive child" instead of  "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins."

The right choice of word or phrase keeps the reader on the path the writer has chosen to take.

Sloppy word choice can throw the reader out of the story and refocus attention to an entirely separate set of associations that were never intended by the writer.  Sometimes all the writer needs to do is read their pages aloud to know if they have written the right word. Intentionality is always the key. Does that particular word or phrase convey what you intended your reader to see or understand. If not, there is a better choice. Keep looking till you find it. When you do…you’ll know!