A Reader’s Retrospective

By Victoria Fortune

“The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” -Robert Burns

One year ago today, I wrote a blog post proposing my reading list for 2019. As I look back now, it strikes me that my reading list is a good indication of how the year as a whole went: I had it all planned out, the books carefully selected, divided into categories according to my purpose for reading them, and then it all went awry. I read only four of the seventeen books—one from each category.

I should have known better. I had been warned not to plan. My child who suffers from anxiety (like so many in Generation Z) hit a wall last fall, just a couple of months before I made my list. I was told, point blank, to stop planning, to take things day by day. At first, I thought this pertained only to my child. However, being there for her meant regularly dropping everything on my plate at a moment’s notice. Eventually, I had to stop planning for myself, as well.

I’ve always fancied myself a flexible, roll-with-the-punches type. But when I had to stop planning, it felt like I’d been sailing along at seven knots when the wind died. Suddenly, I was stuck in irons, unable to go anywhere. For a long time, I fixated on the lack of forward movement and progress. It took a long time to appreciate the advantages of being still, the discoveries to be made when you slow down, look deeply, and take things as they come.

Now, I see that the problem with last year’s reading list was not in failing to read all the books but in thinking that not reading them all was failure. I am glad I created the list—it made me think about the types of books I wanted to read and why—but if I had stuck steadfastly to the list, I would have missed out on so many great reads, like Manhattan Beach, a gift from a friend, which gave a unique perspective of World War II and set me off on a historical fiction bent. I would have missed Will Poole’s Island, which provided some insight to the Boston Harbor islands as I visited them for the first time. That book inspired me to finally read Caleb’s Crossing, also set in the colonial era, which gave me an idea for a story, just to name a few.

As difficult as last year was, what I gained was far more valuable than if it had gone as planned. Planning is a necessity at times but deviating from the plan can be even more important. This year, my reading list is populated with just a few titles from last year’s list, already awaiting me on my bedside table. The rest is blank, waiting to be filled in as inspiration calls.  

Phptp credit: ID 2419732 © Sergei Popov | Dreamstime.com